And Then the Windows Failed

Bernice was going to the pier with some friends. George wished she would have stayed. He sucked at some bourbon between his teeth and turned back towards the kitchen. A coffee cup touched the dining room table. He wanted Keith to leave too. He didn’t have a car. Probably didn’t have a house either, George thought to himself. He’s over here all the time, in my house. With my family. He was teaching them how to surf. George always said he would learn, but he never did. No particular reason. He said he would do it, but just never got around to it. It’s no big deal. Why does it matter?

George stood in the kitchen for a moment. He heard his wife from the table,

“ Did George walk out? He didn’t right?” He walked into the dining room.

He said “ What are you feeding that girl? Bernie’s about as tall as me now. Don’t tell her I said that.”

She said “ She’s seventeen, I’m pretty sure she’s done growing”

Alice and Keith sat at the dining table. They were outside having a cigarette, and when they came in they left the sliding door open. He didn’t know if he had the right to close it.

“ Hey, so how has the job been? You see anything exciting lately?” Keith said.

George said “ No. Not particularly. Nothing wild. It’s pretty mellow out here”

Keith laughed “ So, it’s just getting kittens out of trees? Helping old ladies cross the street?”

George sort of half-smiled. He said “ No. That’s firemen.”

George heard Alice breath, and she put her elbow on the table.

Keith said “ Well that must be great for you! We love our cops.  I know it’s not like that everywhere.” Keith smiled, a genuine smile, and took a sip of his coffee. The cup covered his mouth, but his eyes kept beaming.

“ I remember, when we were in Bakersfield, it seemed like catastrophes happened every other night” Alice said, “  it’s gotta be good for you to be away from that. It’s got to.”

George nodded. His new partner was an old fellow named Walsh who had been with VPD for 20 years. During the afternoons, they would park on the 118, hang the speed gun out the window, and drink whiskey out of thermoses.

They sat there in stillness for a moment. Keith tapped his fingers on the blue table mat. A fly buzzed by George’s head, and then kept on buzzing into the kitchen.

Keith said “ Hey, so I was gonna take the girls out to the beach next weekend. We were gonna bring the boards, go to Duke’s for lunch. I’d love it if you came with us.”

George imagined his belly stuffed into a wet suit. A shark might attack him, mistaking him for a seal. All the booze and junk food probably made George taste awful. He was probably salty and rotten and grey. He thought that not even a shark would eat him. It’d just take a bite, spit him out, and litter him in the ocean, like half a gas station sandwich that you throw in the trash.

“ No thanks, I’ve got the morning shift this weekend.”

Alice said “ That’s too bad. I’m getting pretty good at it.”

“ Oh, you’re good at everything” George said, “ You’ve got a knack. Things come so easy to you.”

Keith put his arm around her “ See? I keep telling her the same thing! She was standing up 20 minutes after we got in the water. You have been blessed or something.”

Alice turned away, embarrassed. She didn’t look at Keith, not in front of George. They had just replaced the kitchen window.

George walked back into the kitchen. ‘I’m gonna look for my clubs’ he said. That’s what he told them he was going to do. His feet scuffed on the concrete. He walked into a corner. He saw two small canoes hung up on the wall next to a rack of fishing poles. They were fresh. They lacked the dust layer that all the familiar items in the garage had collected. His golf bag was there, buried in the corner by cardboard boxes and a rusty stationary bike. He took a drink from his flask. He noticed more and more items in the garage that were clean: A steel ladder, new gardening tools, flower pots.

There was a shelf built into the wall meant for tools, but it had always been just another place to put their junk. There was a blue t-shirt thrown onto it that probably belonged to Keith. A basketball, photo albums, gold plastic trophies. He saw the plaques Alice won over the years for her drawings. She drew cardinals and robins, nature landscapes. That kind of stuff. As she got better, she started to draw people. She would go down to San Buena and look for interesting people, then draw them on her easel in the backyard. Not a one-for-one recreation. She’d make their noses small, their skin bright and clear. She tried to put a nice, rosey filter on everyone; rub down the edges. She said that birds and trees were perfect. All the nature stuff was exactly the way it should be, so it was easy to imitate. All you could do was imitate. She said people had beauty in them, but you had to learn how to bring it out. One drawing, an old women smiling big next to her dog, used to hang in the front room by the piano. George put it up, said he liked the way the ladies eyes looked. Alice said that was always the hardest part. Now it’s leaning on Bernie’s old bike in the garage.

He took another drink and reached into a small pocket on his golf bag. He pulled out a pocket knife and thrust it into the forlorn canvas. He waited a moment, then pulled it out and punched it a couple more time. He returned the knife to the pocket and walked back inside.

The two had gone back out to the patio for a smoke. They spoke in fun, quiet voices until George stepped outside. Wind shook the low tree in the backyard. Sunlight glinted off the black oily skin of avocados still attached to the branches. It was bright outside, but cool. The air felt light on George’s skin. He smoked Marlboro Reds.

Keith looked over at him “ We’ll get going in just a bit“.

George said “ Alright. Any idea what’s wrong with it?

Keith said “ Not really. Alice says it goes okay, just makes this metallic, churning sound when it’s driven. I’m not much of a car guy, you know.”

George sucked his teeth again “ I’m not sure either.”

Alice said “ Thank you so much for doing this George. You’re a real life saver.” She smiled, but didn’t open her mouth. George lingered on her face, then smiled back. It was pitiful. A real awful smile. It was like a big heavy blanket that locked you to the floor. A chill started forming in Alice’s neck, like the kind you get when a car slows as it passes you on the street.

George called her a couple weeks after she made him leave. He called her a whore, said he hoped she slipped while getting out of the shower and broke her neck. She called him a drunken child. He threatened to burn the house down. She said he has no right anymore. Then he threatened to burn down his own apartment down. She dared him to try. “I fucking dare you” she said, “I bet you’re too stupid to do it. I’d bet anything you’d find some way to fuck it up.” She had ran out of pity for him. She was exhausted. He apologized the next day. He promised he felt better. He said he was just in a bad place, and once he got all better they could get back to their life. He said he had stopped drinking, or that he was only drinking beer now. He was desperate, reaching for something he thought only redemption could could provide.

A couple months went buy. She met Keith. Alice invited George over for dinner, at Keith’s behest.  It was the first time he’d been back to the house since they split. That’s when he broke the window. Alice didn’t see him do it. It happened during the middle of the night. Keith thought it was a burglar who got scared and ran off, but she knew.

George finished his cigarette and tossed it in the ashtray. He said “ Do we have an appointment?”

Keith said “ No, but the mechanic is a buddy of mine. I told him we would come sometime in the afternoon.”

“ Well I hope he isn’t 5 cars deep when we show up, we’ll be there all day.”

Keith put up a dismissive hand “ He’s a buddy of mine. We’ll be fine. I’ll just tell him i’m with a cop.” Keith smiled again, like a step-father.

Alice said “ We don’t want to keep you. You can just drive us back after we drop off the car, it’s fine. I’m sure it’ll be there for a couple days anyway. We’ll figure out what to do once it’s ready. I don’t want to keep you.”

George said “ No, no. I’m here for you. Whatever you need, just say the word.” Pity and venom lingered in the air. The breeze wouldn’t blow it away. He did that so often. He tried to insult her, but also make her feel sorry for him.

George looked towards her “ Bernice only has two or three more games this season. I know next week is at Buena.”

Alice said “ Oh yea. Yea, I know. I have the schedule. She’s–we were gonna go to one soon.” She fumbled around her head, reached out for something “ She has practice in the mornings now, at 6am, before school. I get up and drop her off before before I go to work.”

Keith said “ She works so hard. Great ballplayer, that kid.”

She put the cigarette to her mouth and side-eyed him. George leaned his big shoulders over his knees and looked forward, not really at anything, just looking inside his own thoughts. What could he use next?

“ She had a real good game a couple weeks ago, scored like 18 I think, Something like that. Anyway, there was a coach from  Moorpark there. They talked after the game and Bernie said it went really well. I’m sure you heard.”

Alice said “ Oh, wow. That’s great, I don’t think I remember her mentioning it. “ She looked to Keith to see if he remembered.

“ I’m not far from the college. She could stay with me-if she decided to go there.”

They were like boxers trading blows. They danced around each other, tossing jabs and hooks, bobbing away from malicious strikes, or else taking them to the gut. There was strategy. They used tact. But the ultimate goal, each knew, was to break the other down. This game was his way back, a cathartic and cruel path to satisfaction. He turned and looked out at the yard that was not his yard. He won the round, and he could smell blood. He wanted to deliver a knockout blow.

Alice said “ Well, why don’t we get on the road. Now’s as good a time as any.” They all got up and started to walk to the side gate. Keith began to pull the metal latch when George said “ Actually, i’ll meet you in the car. I think I forgot my phone in the garage.” He turned around before they could respond. He pulled out his flask and shook it.” That’s enough” he said, and he walked inside.